In the spirit of telling-folk-what-you-learned-so-they-don’t-have-to-learn-it-the-hard-way, let me tell you this: You are going to need some support in the day-to-day of being a parent and these are the people who have it: a community of Moms.
– They love your kid the way you’d expect, and expect you to love their kids the same.
– They know why you’re crying at the good part of a performance, and that fact doesn’t wreck it for them.
– They’ll bring food to your house if someone is sick.
– Forget something? One of them has it in their car.
– They are never peeved if you have to let the dog out.
– They will make you laugh and laugh.
These are just a few, caught in my living room, celebrating Sheena getting an MBA. (Did I mention the way they show up? They will turn out in full force, with their kids or without, at the drop of a hat. Just give them a second, they gotta get it in the calendar. Amazing.) Sheena is the only reason that it’s almost nine o’clock, and I am taking my first coffee break. I usually get to writing at around ten.
I said: I’ve been working for the last two hours! I didn’t wake up/exercise/drive a half hour to school/a half hour home/get to work!
Because we’re neighbors this year in the land of no city busses, and we carpool to school.
I can barely believe my good fortune, and the inside of my mind does like this: WHAT?!? You mean you’re gifting me two more working hours a day, and it’s not a big deal? Plus, they’re going camping so you’re going to haul my kid and her stuff? And that’s no. big. deal. I am free.
It didn’t take much to form this community: it’s not important what you do for a living, what you’ve come through, or if you started late. What matters is that you show up. I say that realizing it may sound demanding. It’s just that we have been entrusted with these kids… these little darling, goofy, brilliant young souls. They’ve been together since the start of their school days and because of them, so have we.
It seems that each of my Mommy Friends has a specialty; knowing things that I do not, going places where I am unfamiliar. Tickets to local fun? Health resources? Potluck brainstorms? (I mean, what the hell are potlucks anyhow and how come, no matter what, there’s always a half bag of buns left on the serving table?) They’ve got all that. And they share these things with me freely.
I am so grateful to them, this little not-related-to-me-but-feels-like-family division of my family.