I asked God
If it was okay to be melodramatic
And she said yes
I asked her if it was okay to be short
And she said it sure is
I asked her if I could wear nail polish
Or not wear nail polish
And she said honey
She calls me that sometimes
She said you can do exactly what you want to
Thanks, God I said
And is it even okay if I don’t paragraph
Sweet cakes God said
Who knows where she picked that up
What I’m telling you is
Yes yes yes.
-Kaylin Haught “God Says Yes To Me” from The Palm Of Your Hand
I’m amazed at the way I am blessed. Not that I want much, but the fact that I have everything I’ve ever wanted sometimes shocks me. My gratitude list is long and varied as I look around my life and see the results of all my asking. I have a loving relationship; my children are well and are being raised in the house I grew up in. We have material comforts, sure. Homes and cars and toys… more importantly we have a life in which we seek balance. Perfect.
What I’ve been bickering with God about lately is that a lot of my prayer’s answers are equal parts blessing and burden.
- The big house with the big yard is a pain to paint, plow and mow.
- The college degree only begs more, to complete the set. A PhD. is on my bucket list, with the best of ‘em.
- My calm and happy baby now knows how to spell. Even big words. Private, spelled chunks of conversation have been filed away in the baby book, with locks of hair and mini-footprints.
And, today, all of the gods of things mechanical were after me. The garage door opener was broken, one car had a flat, and the other needs an alternator. The motorcycle stalled in the driveway. Of the three lamps in my office, only one had a working light bulb. The television doesn’t work, and I only found that out after finding the remote under the couch.
I mean, really.
Every single event, result, and person that is in my life today is the result of God saying yes to whatever I want. Even horrible things I’ve said like, “I hate that person.” The answer was yes, and my hate only grew. “I want a cookie” (and another and another and another). The answer was yes, and it showed in my jeans.
It’s time to ask for something else. Not stuff, which is bound to need an alternator on the same day every other thing in the house decides to break. Seeing as how the answer is yes, I’m going to ask for big things. Things like loving my neighbor, Like radiant health. Like abundant kindness. Stuff I can keep.